choosing life

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Posts by choosing life

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  16

  Total Honesty VS. All is Fair in Theocratic Warfare

  by OnTheWayOut in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i see many long-time posters and newbies getting offended at suggestions for .

  some here to use deception with their family members or friends (or even the cong.. hounders).

  i tend to be very honest with my wife, but i am withholding information.

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  choosing life

  OTWO,

  I noticed the same thing lately. Several posts have been about being brutally honest with your spouse, even going to the point of calling those who aren't hypocrites. It's been kinda rubbing me the wrong way too. How about if your spouse tells you they don't want to know? Should you still cram it down their throats?

  If we weren't dealing with a mind controlling cult, it would be a different situation. What spouse does not have thoughts that they choose not to share with their partner? That's all were talking about here is thoughts. Were not being unfaithful to our mates. We are trying to gently and tenderly help them see through all the haze around them.
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  3

  Does the Watch Tower get you through the night?

  by Hiddenwindow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have to insist on this.. a friend of mine, who is currently an elder (so am i, but will soon fade), once confessed to me that the most important thing for him is that his children grow drug-free, violence-free, and so forth (that type of thinking is, of course, the result of the wt indoctrination process, which divides the world in two: jw here and satan's people there).

  in other words, for many witnesses the issue is not if this is the true religion or not; it is a matter of how do i get through the night?

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  choosing life

  Hey, it's a good recruiting tactic and a good sedative all wrapped in one. Worked on me. I was indoctrinated when I was pregnant with my 1st child and scared of how to raise a child. They promised I would never have to raise the child in "this wicked world." Strange, that child now has his own children?
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  11

  Pardon my rant

  by loosie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  but i'm going to do it anyway.. i was calling around to my ex sister-in-law's sister to find out if anyone knows how to contact my other brother.

  the situation is weird.

  but my other brother has always been a loner and known to disappear w/o any known residence.

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  choosing life

  Dubland is one crazy world! Sorry for your loss and their outright meanness.
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  18

  JW's Celebrating De Facto Thanksgiving

  by TMS in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  perhaps one of the most innocuous of the "pagan" holidays witnesses are taught to avoid is the american holiday .

  of thanksgiving.

  without going into the thanksgiving story, if there is one, be assured that jw children steadfastly.

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  choosing life

  I faithfully refused to attend thanksgiving dinner with my family for many years. Then I found out that many so called "strong witnesses" were doing just that. They may have done it a day late , but it was still the same. I found out that an elder and ms celebrated Thanksgiving on the proper date every year because their mother-in-law was married to an unbeliever and he as her head had a right to insist on her preparing the meal. Somehow, that excused their participation too.

  I asked several ones after that what exactly was wrong with Thanksgiving anyway. No one could come up with any kind of logical or scriptural answer. One lady told me that since all the other holidays were bad, she just threw that one out too, to avoid confusing her children. What?

  After that, I went to my mother's house with my children every year. My husband still refused to go. I was never too good at that submission thing.
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  31

  Help - running out of "excuses" for not attending meetings

  by truthseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my situation as some of you know, i'm married and my wife is a jw and still wants to go to meetings.

  i on the other hand do not.. over the last few years, i have suffered with poor health and i also studied, so when i was studying i would say "i'm at college/doing homework/taking exams" which for the most part was true.. i also have ill health, suffer with chronic chest infections for part of the year.. trouble is, people at the hall are having a hard time buying my excuses, or if my wife tells them the reason i'm not there, they now start giving her the eyeroll, or they say to her "well, you're here and so am i.".

  not one of the elders calls to see where i am, what they can do.

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  choosing life

  When I quit attending, everyone would ask my husband about me. He would always tell them they should give me a call, to encourage me. They never did. After many months of this, my husband quit attending. I was honest with him and told him up front that I just didn't believe it anymore. That seemed to explain everything to him. I refused to talk with the elders, as I didn't believe in "elders" anymore either. My husband still believes a lot of it and I have 2 grown kids in it, so I don't challenge their beliefs. Neither do I push mine on them, as I don't wish them to insist on pushing their beliefs.

  It may be a balancing act for a long time. Only you know your wife and how best to handle your situation. The meetings were making me physically ill and emotionally upset.
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  31

  Self-Esteem Shot To Pieces - No Friends

  by wheelintheskykeepsonturning in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  school sucked for me as a witness.. i always wanted to be popular, have friends, have a girlfriend, go to parties, play after school sport, stay the night at friends places, do all the other stuff which was fun and made you socially acceptable - which made you feel normal - but was disallowed because i was a witness child.. i thought everything everyone did at school was a direct test of satan on me.

  that's what i was told.. so i tried to go through school living a "double life".

  i desperatley wanted to be obidient to my witness mother who i loved so much and have her approval... so while i tried hard to pretend i wasn't a witness at school - for fear of being ostracized by my peers - i also was obviously "different" to my friends...and because of this i took a lot of shit for it and eventually became unpopular to the point where i dropped out of high school because i thought no one liked me.. for example: i would never "go out" with girls who wanted to go out with me... because i was afraid they would ring my home and my mum would be "disappointed in me" and angry and upset at me.

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  choosing life

  One thing the jw world does to you is put a big wall around you. I followed their demands not to associate with "worldly" persons and after leaving, it is hard to shake that. And I was not raised a jw, came in after getting out of highschool. Many have suggested you find a way to meet people outside the jws and I agree. You also have to learn to lower that wall in your mind. Otherwise, you will always hold back from really getting to know someone. And you have to lose the guilt too.

  I know that's all easier said than done. Best Wishes, choosing Life
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  42

  Who is your favorite slide guitar player?

  by avishai in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  i like elmore james, robert johnson, dave hole, blind willie johnson, george thoroughgood....

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  choosing life

  Hard to pick just one. Bonnie Raitt, Duane Allman, Eric Clapton and many more I can't think of right now.
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  45

  A ? for the ladies.....

  by kerj2leev in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does it upset you that as a man gets older he gets better looking?

  generally speaking!

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  choosing life

  Delilah, yes I haved worked in a nursing home. You are right, some of each sex age well. It depends on the luck of the hereditory draw and somewhat how one takes care of their body. But eventually, we all age, there's no escaping it!
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  32

  I am sitting here drinking coffee...

  by momzcrazy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and starting my day off beautifully.

  in the short time i have been here i have become addicted!

  why is it that after the coffee is brewed, the computer goes on?

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  choosing life

  Welcome momscrazy, it is nice to have you join in. Beautiful card. It is wonderful that your whole family is out together! Maybe you could elaborate on that when you feel comfortable? Great you're making decisions as a family too. That's the way it was meant to be.

  Welcome brokenhearted too. Stick around and I am sure you will find support here.
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  9

  The Young Witness Generation

  by choosing life in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have seen in the last few months five young marriages break up where i live.

  they were all married less than two years.

  is this just a local thing or are others seeing it in their neck of the woods?

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  choosing life

  Mr. Flipper,

  I wish the best to your daughters. It seems to be hard for the young marriages to hold together. I know you would be there for them if it didn't work. I am trying to support a child now whose spouse left and has filed for a divorce. It is heartbreaking to watch the pain involved.

  Lovelylil,

  It is a rat race of never ending demands. Glad we are out of it. My grown child is going through a divorce and they both worked full time. I remember them fighting over who was going to do the house work and cook,etc. At least there are no children involved.